Dracula has Hepetitis C 1985 ****
Roger Moore was searching for something to prevent him from becoming typecast as Bond when he found this little beauty. Certainly not two dimensional this Count of castophrophe. Down on his luck when he enters the Bronx the vagabond vampire chooses the wrong victim to snack on. An old tramp. The soap dodger is riddled with the virus and Dracula eventually becomes ill. His teeth fall out and he becomes the worst of all things, an immortal bum. He can't even claim welfare as the authorities won't accept his date of birth (4/02/1478). This film is certainly the thinking man's Philedelphia.
Manbat 2005 *
A Val Kilmer disaster. A bit like Batman but not as funny.
Tom Jones vs the Robots from Jupiter 1998 *** (Winner of the Bronze Turnip Award)
Once rated as Scotland's greatest ever singer the Scotch Foghorn used to sing about pussycats and unusual things. The hits dried up but the old panty magnet found alternative revenue in the movie industry. Ridley Scott would not take no for an answer and signed Jones up without audition for his sc-fi romp. Proffesor Hershal (Jones) is called upon to defeat the magnetic megalatrons from another world. Unfortunately their technology is far superior to ours and we are left on a sticky wicket. Hershal is trapped by 20 bots armed to the teeth and has moments to live. He bellows out a last song of defiance only to discover that the mechanical maruaders are allergic to bass. He escapes and develops an amplifier which booms his baratone around the earth and sends the robotic renegades to kingdom come.
Roger Moore was searching for something to prevent him from becoming typecast as Bond when he found this little beauty. Certainly not two dimensional this Count of castophrophe. Down on his luck when he enters the Bronx the vagabond vampire chooses the wrong victim to snack on. An old tramp. The soap dodger is riddled with the virus and Dracula eventually becomes ill. His teeth fall out and he becomes the worst of all things, an immortal bum. He can't even claim welfare as the authorities won't accept his date of birth (4/02/1478). This film is certainly the thinking man's Philedelphia.
Manbat 2005 *
A Val Kilmer disaster. A bit like Batman but not as funny.
Tom Jones vs the Robots from Jupiter 1998 *** (Winner of the Bronze Turnip Award)
Once rated as Scotland's greatest ever singer the Scotch Foghorn used to sing about pussycats and unusual things. The hits dried up but the old panty magnet found alternative revenue in the movie industry. Ridley Scott would not take no for an answer and signed Jones up without audition for his sc-fi romp. Proffesor Hershal (Jones) is called upon to defeat the magnetic megalatrons from another world. Unfortunately their technology is far superior to ours and we are left on a sticky wicket. Hershal is trapped by 20 bots armed to the teeth and has moments to live. He bellows out a last song of defiance only to discover that the mechanical maruaders are allergic to bass. He escapes and develops an amplifier which booms his baratone around the earth and sends the robotic renegades to kingdom come.
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