Arm and Legge 1985 *
David Arm and Gino Legge take on all manner of criminality in this fast paced slapstick crime drama. Arm is prepared to break all the rules to get his man, whilst Legge sticks to the rules like unibond. The mixture works and the man to man banter is second only to that displayed by Doug McClure and Roger Moore in the film The Land That Time Forgot. Kenneth Williams plays a particularly nasty English villain by the name of Lord Hubert.
Bee Bop Disco Cats 1972 0 stars
Instantly forgettable, regrettable, cartoon adaptation of the Henrick Ibsen play ‘A Doll’s House’. The movie cost £54,000 to make and actually lost 4.5 million at the U.S box office. The Director, Merv Windberg was actually chased out of town with pitchforks from the Frankenstein film set, by Warner Bros executives. He was last known to be living in Dorset and frequently uploads videos of his neighbour’s cats to You Tube.
Cameron 2012 – *
Fresh on the back of the success of Thatcher, the makers of Downton Abbey decided that it would be lucrative to revise and glorify Prime Minister David Cameron. The story begins with redundant mineworker’s urchin Cameron, playing with fishes eyeballs as replacement marbles in a East End backstreet. His soot covered poverty stricken dial swells to his current pug faced proportions as he tricks and smarms his chums out of their pocket money. His meteoric rise to millionaire status is charmless and without any merit whatsoever. Censors asked for a 10 minute cut to allow for an 18 classification. The cut was a scene during which Cameron relentlessly beats his stable boy with a riding boot so hard that his jaw flies off. Cameron has refused to comment on the film but it is believed that he financed the production by stopping pensioners winter fuel allowance.
They Call me Shovel Face- Mel Gibson 2008 ****
John Graham (Gibson) is retired cop on the run after being wrongly accused of killing his wife and a pizza delivery guy. The FBI is hot on his tail, but Graham has a major problem, his face is shaped like a shovel. Whenever he steps outside he is immediately identified. The twist is, his wifes killer is the only scientist in the world with the antidote to his affliction, Spades Syndrome. Gibson gives the performance of his life in this high octane thriller which culminates in a camel chase down the Grand Canyon.
Houses With Ceilings – Meryl Streep + Bob Hoskins 1993 ***
Voted number 1 tearjerker ever by radio one listeners 1997. Larry Sturton (Hoskins) befriends serial killer Mary Allerdice (Streep) whilst she is serving life in Longville Penitentiary. Sturton is a chiropodist and initially visits Allerdice to treat a fungal nail infection and ingrowing toenail. The pair find they have a mutual interest in rare bats. Sturton falls for Allerdice and starts studying for his law degree. He graduates 5 years later and succeeds in overturning Allerdices conviction on a technicality. Once freed they tour the American mid-west looking for previously un-recorded species of bats. Some three and half hours into the movie Allerdice is killed as she trips and falls into a chasm.
David Arm and Gino Legge take on all manner of criminality in this fast paced slapstick crime drama. Arm is prepared to break all the rules to get his man, whilst Legge sticks to the rules like unibond. The mixture works and the man to man banter is second only to that displayed by Doug McClure and Roger Moore in the film The Land That Time Forgot. Kenneth Williams plays a particularly nasty English villain by the name of Lord Hubert.
Bee Bop Disco Cats 1972 0 stars
Instantly forgettable, regrettable, cartoon adaptation of the Henrick Ibsen play ‘A Doll’s House’. The movie cost £54,000 to make and actually lost 4.5 million at the U.S box office. The Director, Merv Windberg was actually chased out of town with pitchforks from the Frankenstein film set, by Warner Bros executives. He was last known to be living in Dorset and frequently uploads videos of his neighbour’s cats to You Tube.
Cameron 2012 – *
Fresh on the back of the success of Thatcher, the makers of Downton Abbey decided that it would be lucrative to revise and glorify Prime Minister David Cameron. The story begins with redundant mineworker’s urchin Cameron, playing with fishes eyeballs as replacement marbles in a East End backstreet. His soot covered poverty stricken dial swells to his current pug faced proportions as he tricks and smarms his chums out of their pocket money. His meteoric rise to millionaire status is charmless and without any merit whatsoever. Censors asked for a 10 minute cut to allow for an 18 classification. The cut was a scene during which Cameron relentlessly beats his stable boy with a riding boot so hard that his jaw flies off. Cameron has refused to comment on the film but it is believed that he financed the production by stopping pensioners winter fuel allowance.
They Call me Shovel Face- Mel Gibson 2008 ****
John Graham (Gibson) is retired cop on the run after being wrongly accused of killing his wife and a pizza delivery guy. The FBI is hot on his tail, but Graham has a major problem, his face is shaped like a shovel. Whenever he steps outside he is immediately identified. The twist is, his wifes killer is the only scientist in the world with the antidote to his affliction, Spades Syndrome. Gibson gives the performance of his life in this high octane thriller which culminates in a camel chase down the Grand Canyon.
Houses With Ceilings – Meryl Streep + Bob Hoskins 1993 ***
Voted number 1 tearjerker ever by radio one listeners 1997. Larry Sturton (Hoskins) befriends serial killer Mary Allerdice (Streep) whilst she is serving life in Longville Penitentiary. Sturton is a chiropodist and initially visits Allerdice to treat a fungal nail infection and ingrowing toenail. The pair find they have a mutual interest in rare bats. Sturton falls for Allerdice and starts studying for his law degree. He graduates 5 years later and succeeds in overturning Allerdices conviction on a technicality. Once freed they tour the American mid-west looking for previously un-recorded species of bats. Some three and half hours into the movie Allerdice is killed as she trips and falls into a chasm.
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